It's 2:55 PM. It's Friday. It's warm outside. I'm in my room, at my desk, sitting Indian-style on my brown leather rolling-chair, currently listening to a distant friend of mine broadcast his genius of music on his college radio station via inter-web. "Remember to hug the people you care about. And also the people you don't care about...you don't want to wake up one day and regret having held a grudge." If I could, I'd hug him right there and then. Circumstances. Arms. Location. These aren't necessarily the words that come to mind when you hug someone. What an underestimate. Embraces are unrequited. Close your eyes, you'll see, I've hugged you with my mind once before.
Oh, something about today just feels so different. so alien. so enlightening. You know, sometimes life is just so perplexing. Most the times, actually. It's like, I want to figure it out. all of it, everything there is to learn and know about this thing called life. And then there are days, like today, where...
you sort of have this moment.
You find yourself atop this inexplicable awakening, an awakening in which you both awaken and die all at once. And it hits you, the realization...that it really doesn't matter. figuring stuff out. conflicting yourself over the necessary and unnecessary. over the wrong and the right. over the frictions of life and death. It's not about finding, believing, and building, or even about loving. It's not about those feels. It's not about the past, or the awaiting realm. It's nothing. It's about nothing. No particular. No exact. No rendition, translation, interpretation. It's something more. Something more than you, than her, than him, than them, than us. It's about, half-sleeping. Lessening your vision. Oblivion. Abstraction. Nothing. There are no worries. No hours, minutes, seconds. There are no colors. No preferences. No voices. No words. Nothing is really just nothing. When you start losing sight of everything, it's then when things disappear. It's then when things unfold. Wonders. Answers. The world ---
Oh, something about today just feels so different. so alien. so enlightening. You know, sometimes life is just so perplexing. Most the times, actually. It's like, I want to figure it out. all of it, everything there is to learn and know about this thing called life. And then there are days, like today, where...
you sort of have this moment.
You find yourself atop this inexplicable awakening, an awakening in which you both awaken and die all at once. And it hits you, the realization...that it really doesn't matter. figuring stuff out. conflicting yourself over the necessary and unnecessary. over the wrong and the right. over the frictions of life and death. It's not about finding, believing, and building, or even about loving. It's not about those feels. It's not about the past, or the awaiting realm. It's nothing. It's about nothing. No particular. No exact. No rendition, translation, interpretation. It's something more. Something more than you, than her, than him, than them, than us. It's about, half-sleeping. Lessening your vision. Oblivion. Abstraction. Nothing. There are no worries. No hours, minutes, seconds. There are no colors. No preferences. No voices. No words. Nothing is really just nothing. When you start losing sight of everything, it's then when things disappear. It's then when things unfold. Wonders. Answers. The world ---
Today, dearer one, I'm losing sight of e v e r y t h i n g . . .
and I'm finding things to be more b e a u t i f u l .
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